Grateful

In honor of Bob Weir's recent passing and all the music he helped create

My dad has been to over 100 Grateful Dead shows. They were his favorite band, and he loved the community that existed surrounding the band. He would tell me of how people would gather near the venue and sell art, Grateful Dead related merchandise, food, and whatever else. The community raised him and was a vital part of his coming of age.

My father would travel the country to try and get to as many shows as he could. Eventually, he began selling food outside of the shows in order to get money to pay for hotels and transportation to the shows. Him and his friends sold spaghetti and garlic bread. My dad said they would go to the grocery store and buy large quantities of pasta, then, they would haul the pasta to the venue and cook it up in the parking lot. Grateful Dead fans would line up around the block to get delicious spaghetti and garlic bread. He told me how sometimes when fans didn’t have money to pay for the food, they would exchange art or shirts to get the meal. My dad still has some of these mementos to this day along with a box of ticket stubs from various shows across the United States.

My dad around the time he was adamantly following the Grateful Dead

My father (bottom) when he was in college

Now, my dad listens to the Sirius XM Grateful Dead station in the car all the time. They frequently play the live versions of Grateful Dead songs. He often will look at the date of the recording and recount how he was at that specific show, or how someone he knew went to that show, or the events surrounding a particular show. He told me of one venue he went to where there was a rollercoaster that overlooked the stadium and Grateful Dead fans could be seen riding over the stage on the coaster while the Grateful Dead played their set.

I’ve never been to a Grateful Dead show. Jerry Garcia passed away before I was born. My mom recounts the day that he passed away, my dad called out of work because he was so upset regarding his passing. Jerry Garcia and the Grateful Dead were always a crucial part of his life. He went to shows with his now deceased father and with so many of his close friends. The Grateful Dead community to him wasn’t just drugs and partying (although, he does not deny that taking place as well) it was a community based on caring and loving one another while also connecting over a shared love of music.

My dad was very against seeing Dead and Company for a long time. Dead and Company was created after Jerry’s passing by other members of the Grateful Dead. Jerry’s guitar and vocal parts were mostly replaced by John Mayer. I think my dad was so against seeing Dead and Company because he felt as though it would be a cheap replication of what the Grateful Dead community and shows were like when he was young. In some ways, he’s correct in that. John Mayer is no Jerry Garcia, not that he ever claimed he was. And Dead and Company is not the Grateful Dead. However, my dad had a change of heart a few years ago. I think he realized that a replication is better than never experiencing the Grateful Dead community in a concert setting again. He also realized that John Mayer was doing Jerry Garcia’s parts of the show justice. So, he asked me if I would go see Dead and Company with him. I did.

When we arrived at the Dead and Company show at Hershey Park Stadium, we were directed to a grassy field to park on. My dad pulled up the car loaded with a cooler, his girlfriend (now wife) Marissa, me, and his lifelong best friend, my Uncle Jed. My dad even packed some tie dye for the occasion resulting in Jed saying, “You’re not really going to wear that into the concert, right?”

Me, My Dad, and Uncle Jed before the concert

Me, Marissa, My Dad, and Uncle Jed before the concert

After settling into our tailgating spot, my dad and I took a walk. We walked over a hill and entered what looked like an art show of sorts. There were lines of tents and vendors. I could smell various grills cooking. My dad and I explored the various vendors. Many were selling shirts for cheap. We bought matching Dead and Company shirts as well as some new tie dye shirts. My dad exclaimed how this was sort of how it was back when he went to shows when he was young. He was excited to have this experience again, even if it wasn’t exactly the same.

The show was a lot of fun. My dad was very excited to hear Grateful Dead music live in a setting like that again. He was also excited to be surrounded by his loved ones. We had such an amazing time at this show watching Bob Weir and other former Grateful Dead members play familiar Grateful Dead tunes. We also enjoyed the new touring members who added life into a band that so many people, including my dad, held close to their hearts. Even though I am someone who would be described as a “John Mayer Hater” he did play guitar well, and every time he did, my dad would lean over and say to me something like “John Mayer, he’s playing great.”

Photo I took at the Dead and Company show

Without even realizing it, I followed in my father’s footsteps of following bands on tour. Maybe not to the extreme lengths he followed with the Grateful Dead because you can’t just sell spaghetti in parking lots and expect that to help you pay for shows these days. But in my own way, I follow Twenty One Pilots, one of my favorite bands, when they tour near me. I try to go to multiple shows with friends and family. Additionally, I enjoy the community of people that surround these shows. There are lots of artists and online communities relating to this band. Even though these fans aren’t selling large amounts of merchandise in grassy lots like the Grateful Dead community, they are a community of fans in their own right. Connecting with other people over a shared love of music is one of the most special love languages in the world.